Everyone thinks that their life is hard, and usually they're right. My life is hard in various ways, but not least of them is having my brain. You think I confuse you?? It's no better for me. And I have to put up with it ALL THE TIME.
Having a brain that never stops moving and won't stop thinking [it gets so bad that I have about half as much sleep as I should be having] can have it's advantages. It makes stuff like this easier, and writing things like essays, plus generally being smart, what with all that spare time to just remember crap. But it really hampers on some fronts. Like I don't really have much control over where my thoughts go; they just stick to something. And it sticks to pretty depressing stuff a lot.
Of course it can be advantageous. I have some pretty fucking amazing ideas. I mean, mindblowing stuff which I write down and slowly work on. Eventually all of the ones I follow through with will be masterpieces. I say it like that because the mind-crazy screws with focusing on one project.
Sometimes I wish that I was some brainless little no one. Content enough to just go through life, have friends, work, buy stuff I don't need, be totally ruled by other people, have no opinion on anything, never have to worry about creating anything wonderful. And it would be easier.
But then I remember how awesome I am. And how awesome people who have opinions and creativity are. And then I say "Fuck Mindlessness".
Sometimes out loud. Sometimes in public places. And then people stare...
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