I am awesome. It's just a fact. There's not enough space on the internet to define just how awesome I am, so that's not what I'm going to do [as much as I may like to]. What I am letting you know is that I plan on starting my own religion. [You probably caught that from the title. If you did not, you're a fucking retard and I hope you catch chlamydia.]
Yes, you will all one day be able to have the pleasure of worshipping a religion founded by me [unless I don't like you; then you can fuck right the hell off]. No, I'm not making myself god [yet], I'm not that full of myself [I am]. And it is going to be awesome. Taking a leaf from one of the many, many, many books by L. Ron Hubbard, I'm just going to make up awesome crap like you wouldn't believe.
There's going to exactly 52 gods [that'll also be our holy number], they'll all have complex personalities and behaviours and preferences and their own way of being worshipped. I'm going to come up with awesome stories for all of them. There will be evil ones and good ones and ones that are just nuts. There will be a ruling council sort of thing, and lesser divine beings made by the gods.
It's going to be sweet.
Why did you take away the scientology gay reaction?
ReplyDeletehmmmm. I didn't do that.
ReplyDeleteThis is such an awsome idea, damn you for beating me to it. When I read this I lol at uni in the 24/7 computer lab and had to shut the hell up so I didn't get kicked out. Good job Dr. Facepalm. Oh and can you make one of the worshiping practices be that you have to fold a paper crane once a month on a sunday morning? plz, I'll even try vegimite on celery.
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