Let's Get Born Again!

Today I got handed a tiny little leaflet titled "Steps to Peace With GOD" [there are four of them] from an indian guy while I was getting onto the uni bus. He wasn't one of those crazy preacher people who are all in your face like; "Don't you love God?! Why don't you love God?! You should love God!!" He wasn't that bad; harmless really. He was just like "Are you a christian? [politely nod head] You shold be born again." Very calmly, could have been convincing if it wasn't the same contest. Guy missed his calling as a conman. [Or did he?]

It wasn't a bad experience is what I'm trying to say [very poorly], but it did get me thinking on something that has been on my mind for as long as I knew these sort of people [loons] existed. Do they get how crazy they are?? I mean, I believe that there's a big difference between knowledge and belief, but even if they do believe what they're spouting [which I think they do], do they at least know how crazy what thet believe is??

The deep, dark and surprisingly altruistic recesses of my mind [along with the rational ones] would like to think so. It's kind of hard to explain, but believing that lets me believe that they're real people.

Even if I know that they're not.

World War Z

Now this here is a great fucking book to get the ball rolling. Mother-fucking World War Z by Max Brooks.

The whole point of the book is zombie apocalypse, and it pulls the whole damn thing off perfectly. The beauty of this book comes from the writing style. Each chapter is broken up into sections, and each section is a relevant section of an interview with one of many characters, telling their experiences, how the whole thing went down, etc., and it really gives the book a powerful eomtional pull.

I can promise you by the the end of the first little section in the first chapter [where a doctor encounters fucking Patient Zero] you will be hooked. It is over 300 pages long and I finished it in two days. I could hardly put the thing down.

Apart from that, the book really doesn't mess aronud. The very personal instances of survival suck you in like you're actually there. Part of the story of the book is the writer was working for the UN collecting data, so there's a lot of logistical stuff about what happened all over the world. And I mean all over the world. There a countries which got decimated, a couple which thrived and one that had actually planned ahead.

I can't really explain how awesome this book is. You just have to read it.

My Book's Bigger Than Your Book

You know what?? None of you fuckers read enough god damned books. There, I said it. I read every fucking day. Rarely more often than I watch TV or dvds obviously, but it can and does happen. Books are fucking good to read.

I have over a thousand dollars worth of the printed word in my bedroom alone. We should all read more god damned books. I don't really even think I read as much as I should, but come on, lets cut us all a little slack. I just think you should all read a bit more. I mean, surely you could manage at least ONE book a month?? Couldn't you??

And there's so many benefits. I don't care what anyone says, they make you smarter. Basically everyone who knows me well gets that I'm smart. And I attribute 35% of all of that to my life long reading habits. They are also fun. Some things actually can only be funny when they're in text [like much of CRACKED.COM], and there are a lot of funny as books out there.

But why would you listen to me?? Because I'll force you to. From now on, I'm starting my own damn book club. And not some crappy Oprah one. One with good books. At least once a week I'll set one on you, and I won't put it on a set day. YOU WILL NEVER KNOW WHEN IT MAY STRIKE. That way, those of you who like books will read every day to try and catch it, and those who don't will still read everyday because they won't know how to avoid it.

And if you are already a devoted book nerd and want to suggest one to me, you go right on ahead. Email the title and author to me at infinitecontainer@gmail.com with the subject "book club" [with out the freking quotations people] and I've alrady set it up to go to its own little folder for me to constantly check.

Prepare to be literaturised, bitches.

It Never Stops....

Everyone thinks that their life is hard, and usually they're right. My life is hard in various ways, but not least of them is having my brain. You think I confuse you?? It's no better for me. And I have to put up with it ALL THE TIME.

Having a brain that never stops moving and won't stop thinking [it gets so bad that I have about half as much sleep as I should be having] can have it's advantages. It makes stuff like this easier, and writing things like essays, plus generally being smart, what with all that spare time to just remember crap. But it really hampers on some fronts. Like I don't really have much control over where my thoughts go; they just stick to something. And it sticks to pretty depressing stuff a lot.

Of course it can be advantageous. I have some pretty fucking amazing ideas. I mean, mindblowing stuff which I write down and slowly work on. Eventually all of the ones I follow through with will be masterpieces. I say it like that because the mind-crazy screws with focusing on one project.

Sometimes I wish that I was some brainless little no one. Content enough to just go through life, have friends, work, buy stuff I don't need, be totally ruled by other people, have no opinion on anything, never have to worry about creating anything wonderful. And it would be easier.

But then I remember how awesome I am. And how awesome people who have opinions and creativity are. And then I say "Fuck Mindlessness".

Sometimes out loud. Sometimes in public places. And then people stare...

Look Out, It's Crappy Music Videos!!!!

I like music. I like music videos. Usually. But people do some pretty screwed up things when writing or directing anything, and the music video arena is no exception.

Mostly this applies to music videos that take on a sort of short film style. Many music videos have no sort of plot or reason to the images at all, and that's fine. But when the music video does have a plot, that plot needs to have something to do with the song. For instance, Thriller had a plot, and it was relevant to the song, so it was good.

The example that set me off here is the film clip to "Telepone" by Lady Gaga. I'm no going to make any arguments about how good it was [Anyone who needs to be told it sucked is beyond being reasoned with]. But it did have a plot. That plot was about being put into prison, being in prison, breaking out of prison, and for some reason I'm not aware of, poisoning a bunch of random people people in a diner, just coz.

Now, in case you're stupid or don't listen to Lady Gaga, the song is about her not wanting to answer her phone so she can dance. In a club. But in the video, when she does answer a phone and sing the chorus, shes currently in a room. In the prison. It is stupid. It is nothing more than Lady Gaga wanting her own Thelma & Louise rip-off, not having a song that fits, and so forcing it upon a completely irrelevant song that could have had a good video.

And I remember the music video to "Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off" [perhaps true, but unecessarily long] by Panic! At The Disco. The song is about teens having sex/ breaking up or something a bit along those lines. And the video is about a world of people with fishbowls full of water around their heads, and if they break the people die, and when they die they get put into the ocean.

Artistic, yes. Interesting, yes. On its own, very good. But when paired with a song about teens and sex?? FUCKING TERRIBLE. What the fuck does teen sex have to do with fishbowl-head-people?? NOTHING.

Seriously people, what the fuck??

My Two Cents

You see that amount of money up there in the title?? That happens to be the amount of money I've made off of this blog. I know right? Rolling in the dough.

Seriously, the way it sounded on the google adsense thing, it sounded like I'd actually make money. Sure I'd still have to eventually get off my ass and get a job [being awesome], but still, I though it would procure something. And no, two cents does NOT count as something. It is in fact two cents away from being less than nothing. How does that make sense? Because I'm awesome, that's how, fuckers.

Okay I don't know what that little outburst was. Maybe me feeling underappreciated or something. I legitimately don't know. Some psychology student I am.

But there's good news! You can actually make me more money! How? By checking this blog regularly, and just letting your screen load those annoying advertisements. And if you see something you're actually interested in, go ahead and click it, that's even better for me [who desires money]. [Unless it's a dating ad. If you click on one of them I don't love you anymore. because you're not a person.]

Enough of a rant for you? Well TOO BAD.

"Cold is god's way of telling us to burn more catholics." Just let those last three words sink in.

Kate's - Ambitous Much??

Wow. I'm sure you're all aware of this, but apparently, this girl named Kate is having a party at her apartment. I'm invited. You're invited. Fucking EVERYONE is invited. over 6,000 people have RSVP'd as attending, with hundreds [including myself] on the maybe list. God damn!

If only a fifth of the the people who say that they're going turn up, thats still over a thousand freaking people trying to cram their body's into the one apartment. And don't think they don't know. They know full well from the party description that over 6,000 people reckon that they're coming.

So let's go with a thousand people. That's almost undoubtedly the biggest house party in South Australia's history, maybe Australia's. [It's not the worlds by any means - stupid Japanese/Chinese/Indian people and their overpopulation, how dare they!?!] This one's for the history books.

How does something like this happen?? Well, arguments could be made. You could say that some people just got a hold of a public party and invited all their friends, which they did in turn and got the ball rolling. Or perhaps a large number of these people thought it would be funny to say they were attending a strangers party and it got out of hand. Maybe all of these people are letting Kate know beforehand that they plan on gatecrashing her party [it's the only polite thing to do]. But really, all you can make of this is that the world is strange place that bizarre things happen in, and they make me very, very afraid.

Also, they have a freaking corporate sponsor. Don't get me wrong, capitalism is awesome [and if you say otherwise I will FUCKING MURDER YOU] but come on, have a little soul.

Then again, as the fb page says, poor kate DOES have a lot of sandwiches to make.

P.S. I'm adding this after the fact, but what's with the turban thing?? Seriously??

I Talk Funnier Than I Type

It's really hard to plan to be awesome ona regular basis. Seriously, it's almost painful. There's already been a whole bunch of times in this alone where I've sat in front of the screen for like twenty minutes [which is roughly equivalent to an hour for normal people] just trying to come up with something to start the blog off.

And it's really annoying how once I've started, the awesomeness just all pops out practically instantaneously. I guess it's good that that part gets done with fast, but it's almost like my awesomeness is taunting me with itself, if that makes sense [I don't think it does]. Although now that I think about it, that's exactly what I would do in my awesomenesses situation so I guess that that makes sense.

I've considered cutting this down to a monday, wednesday, friday type deal, but keep deciding against it. I mean, you people all depend upon me to make you not feel meaningless, how could I do that to you?? Also, I'm a prideful, stubborn little bastard who won't admit defeat [especially if it's against myself]. No, that three day format will probably apply to one of my vlog series, once they finally start. [Don't get your hopes up.]

On that, I legitimately feel that I would provide better awesomeness and enterainment on video. Not from any aesthetic benefits, lord no. I'm just better at speaking my message across than typing it [and considering how most people use text, they can relate]. I just talk funnier than I type. Not entirely sure what the whole thing would look like or anything, but it would be good.

And you'd love me even more than you do now. [Which is probably already at an unhealthy level.]

Applicants For Prophet Now Open!

Okay, I have to be honest here; in no way do I have enough time to make a whole, fully fledged religion, that doesn't suck [kind of a key point], all on my lonesome. Plus, if capitalism has taught us anything, it's that the division of labour makes everything work better.

So here's the skinny; I need contributors to help me form up the whole shebang. It doesn't really matter what it is, as long as it's appropriate and at least a little awesome. Firstly, theres a few rules I want to set forth:

1. It is polytheistic
2. The role of the two most powerful gods plus the [sort of] devil are already taken
3. There can't be some in all and end all explanation. We don't rea lly comprehend the gods.
4. There is to be no human involvement. Humans are entirely seperated from all gods and divine beings, they are in what will be treated as different universes.

Aside from these, go nuts. Make up something, anything, and send it on. A tiny snipet like "there should be a love goddess" will get you a slap in the face next time I see you, because that's not an idea, that's a piece of crap. Something resembling a profile of that god/goddess and at least an outline for any story about them is needed. Hell, if you can comee up with something finished and perfect, more power to you.

If you do get selected, I'll probably work with you to process and improve the stuff into a final product. Depending on how important your deity is going to be, I might want a lot on them, so be prepared for some work. But you will be rewarded witht he title of prophet for that deity, and a permanent place of respect within the faith.

Send them to me however you like. [infinitecontainer@gmail.com] is probably the best bet.

Shitface

You know what sucks about having friends?? When they don't do what they're supposed to. I mean, I can understand when it's some awkward situtation or they don't know what's really appropriate for them to do, that shit happens to me all the fucking time. But when I specificly tell them that I want/need them to do something, then they don't, and their excuse is "I did once, but then I didn't" [Kelsky] is hardly forgivable.

And on the topic of Kelsky; what a retard. I was eating with him in food court in the city today, and he said something along the lines of: "I keep thinking that I saw people I think I know, but then when I check to see if its who I think they are, it's not who I thought it was", except it was twice as long with three times as many instances of a variation of the word thought and it basically made my brain spontaneously implode.

Plus basically the first thing he bought when we got to the city was a giant [potential spoiler deleted]. Seriously, he walked around the whoe time with a giant [potential spoiler deleted]. Plus he kept taking us to [secondary potential spoiler deleted] shops. Coz we SO didn't look gay to anyone.

And he pressured me into buying a book I could hardly afford. Although it is amazingly awesome. Does that count as a positive?? If the book was bad it wouldn't. And I suppose I did manage to coin a new term today: testicle-pop. [As in; "That's testicles-poppingly awesome."]

Ah to hell with it, I'm going to go watch TV.

China's Belive It Or Not

Today at video ezy I hired a movie called Three Kingdoms: Resurrection of the Dragon. I doubt that you've heard of it. It's from China. And I'm can't believe that I'm saying this, but those commy scumbags actually made a semi-decent movie. WITH OUT JACKIE CHAN IN IT!!!

Even more surprising was the previews for movies that come up before the menu. Of the two, one seemed a little dull, but the other, called Red Cliff, actually made me brain-gasm harder than I did when I saw the ad for 300. Yes, that is exactly how it happened. I was shocked too. The movie did look amazingly awesome though. And it's from John Woo, so it'll probably deliver.

It's only recently that I even knew China made real movies [though in hindsight, the loss of Jackie Chan probably meant they had to]. And not just them. About two weeks ago I learnt that fucking Iran is making films. The rest [well, not the rest, but some of them] of the middle east too. And I've been told that some of them are pretty good. I of course haven't seen any [just... no].

And I'm sure everyone has at least heard of Bollywood, which doesn't too bad for itself, at least in India. Plus, don't forget all of those movies that com from Japan [although it's probably a good idea to keep all that tentacle rape stuff repressed. Unless you're into it].

Add all of this together, and what does it mean?? That no matter what place you're at or what culture you're from, everyone likes movies because they're awesome.

You're Not Turning Japanese / I'm A Horrible Person

Up until fairly recently, I have known fairly few people of racial minorities. Chalk it up to my area, my schools being racist, whatever, but I haven't known many. Most of those I have known have been asian, and most of them again have been Phillipino, but what I'm about to say applies to all asian peoples western [yee-haw!] countries, though only a minority of them. I'm saying that because I'm not being racist here.

Isn't it just hilarious when asian people who aren't japanese pretend and act like they are?? When they think that they're ninja?? Just coz they're asian. Well you're not.

I have a friend who is Phillipino and think's he's japanese. Well YOU'RE NOT ASIA BOY!!! [Even if you are ninja.]

On the subject of Asia Boy, I call him that because he's the token minority of our little group. And since that's all I ever call him and I'm a terrible friend, at one point about two weeks ago, I actually forgot his name. One of my best friends, and I just flat out forgot what his fucking name is. Probably because the Asian thing is all that's important. [Okay that was a little racist, but he loves it. In the anus.]

God I'm a horrible person.