It Never Stops....

Everyone thinks that their life is hard, and usually they're right. My life is hard in various ways, but not least of them is having my brain. You think I confuse you?? It's no better for me. And I have to put up with it ALL THE TIME.

Having a brain that never stops moving and won't stop thinking [it gets so bad that I have about half as much sleep as I should be having] can have it's advantages. It makes stuff like this easier, and writing things like essays, plus generally being smart, what with all that spare time to just remember crap. But it really hampers on some fronts. Like I don't really have much control over where my thoughts go; they just stick to something. And it sticks to pretty depressing stuff a lot.

Of course it can be advantageous. I have some pretty fucking amazing ideas. I mean, mindblowing stuff which I write down and slowly work on. Eventually all of the ones I follow through with will be masterpieces. I say it like that because the mind-crazy screws with focusing on one project.

Sometimes I wish that I was some brainless little no one. Content enough to just go through life, have friends, work, buy stuff I don't need, be totally ruled by other people, have no opinion on anything, never have to worry about creating anything wonderful. And it would be easier.

But then I remember how awesome I am. And how awesome people who have opinions and creativity are. And then I say "Fuck Mindlessness".

Sometimes out loud. Sometimes in public places. And then people stare...

Look Out, It's Crappy Music Videos!!!!

I like music. I like music videos. Usually. But people do some pretty screwed up things when writing or directing anything, and the music video arena is no exception.

Mostly this applies to music videos that take on a sort of short film style. Many music videos have no sort of plot or reason to the images at all, and that's fine. But when the music video does have a plot, that plot needs to have something to do with the song. For instance, Thriller had a plot, and it was relevant to the song, so it was good.

The example that set me off here is the film clip to "Telepone" by Lady Gaga. I'm no going to make any arguments about how good it was [Anyone who needs to be told it sucked is beyond being reasoned with]. But it did have a plot. That plot was about being put into prison, being in prison, breaking out of prison, and for some reason I'm not aware of, poisoning a bunch of random people people in a diner, just coz.

Now, in case you're stupid or don't listen to Lady Gaga, the song is about her not wanting to answer her phone so she can dance. In a club. But in the video, when she does answer a phone and sing the chorus, shes currently in a room. In the prison. It is stupid. It is nothing more than Lady Gaga wanting her own Thelma & Louise rip-off, not having a song that fits, and so forcing it upon a completely irrelevant song that could have had a good video.

And I remember the music video to "Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off" [perhaps true, but unecessarily long] by Panic! At The Disco. The song is about teens having sex/ breaking up or something a bit along those lines. And the video is about a world of people with fishbowls full of water around their heads, and if they break the people die, and when they die they get put into the ocean.

Artistic, yes. Interesting, yes. On its own, very good. But when paired with a song about teens and sex?? FUCKING TERRIBLE. What the fuck does teen sex have to do with fishbowl-head-people?? NOTHING.

Seriously people, what the fuck??

My Two Cents

You see that amount of money up there in the title?? That happens to be the amount of money I've made off of this blog. I know right? Rolling in the dough.

Seriously, the way it sounded on the google adsense thing, it sounded like I'd actually make money. Sure I'd still have to eventually get off my ass and get a job [being awesome], but still, I though it would procure something. And no, two cents does NOT count as something. It is in fact two cents away from being less than nothing. How does that make sense? Because I'm awesome, that's how, fuckers.

Okay I don't know what that little outburst was. Maybe me feeling underappreciated or something. I legitimately don't know. Some psychology student I am.

But there's good news! You can actually make me more money! How? By checking this blog regularly, and just letting your screen load those annoying advertisements. And if you see something you're actually interested in, go ahead and click it, that's even better for me [who desires money]. [Unless it's a dating ad. If you click on one of them I don't love you anymore. because you're not a person.]

Enough of a rant for you? Well TOO BAD.

"Cold is god's way of telling us to burn more catholics." Just let those last three words sink in.

Kate's - Ambitous Much??

Wow. I'm sure you're all aware of this, but apparently, this girl named Kate is having a party at her apartment. I'm invited. You're invited. Fucking EVERYONE is invited. over 6,000 people have RSVP'd as attending, with hundreds [including myself] on the maybe list. God damn!

If only a fifth of the the people who say that they're going turn up, thats still over a thousand freaking people trying to cram their body's into the one apartment. And don't think they don't know. They know full well from the party description that over 6,000 people reckon that they're coming.

So let's go with a thousand people. That's almost undoubtedly the biggest house party in South Australia's history, maybe Australia's. [It's not the worlds by any means - stupid Japanese/Chinese/Indian people and their overpopulation, how dare they!?!] This one's for the history books.

How does something like this happen?? Well, arguments could be made. You could say that some people just got a hold of a public party and invited all their friends, which they did in turn and got the ball rolling. Or perhaps a large number of these people thought it would be funny to say they were attending a strangers party and it got out of hand. Maybe all of these people are letting Kate know beforehand that they plan on gatecrashing her party [it's the only polite thing to do]. But really, all you can make of this is that the world is strange place that bizarre things happen in, and they make me very, very afraid.

Also, they have a freaking corporate sponsor. Don't get me wrong, capitalism is awesome [and if you say otherwise I will FUCKING MURDER YOU] but come on, have a little soul.

Then again, as the fb page says, poor kate DOES have a lot of sandwiches to make.

P.S. I'm adding this after the fact, but what's with the turban thing?? Seriously??

I Talk Funnier Than I Type

It's really hard to plan to be awesome ona regular basis. Seriously, it's almost painful. There's already been a whole bunch of times in this alone where I've sat in front of the screen for like twenty minutes [which is roughly equivalent to an hour for normal people] just trying to come up with something to start the blog off.

And it's really annoying how once I've started, the awesomeness just all pops out practically instantaneously. I guess it's good that that part gets done with fast, but it's almost like my awesomeness is taunting me with itself, if that makes sense [I don't think it does]. Although now that I think about it, that's exactly what I would do in my awesomenesses situation so I guess that that makes sense.

I've considered cutting this down to a monday, wednesday, friday type deal, but keep deciding against it. I mean, you people all depend upon me to make you not feel meaningless, how could I do that to you?? Also, I'm a prideful, stubborn little bastard who won't admit defeat [especially if it's against myself]. No, that three day format will probably apply to one of my vlog series, once they finally start. [Don't get your hopes up.]

On that, I legitimately feel that I would provide better awesomeness and enterainment on video. Not from any aesthetic benefits, lord no. I'm just better at speaking my message across than typing it [and considering how most people use text, they can relate]. I just talk funnier than I type. Not entirely sure what the whole thing would look like or anything, but it would be good.

And you'd love me even more than you do now. [Which is probably already at an unhealthy level.]

Applicants For Prophet Now Open!

Okay, I have to be honest here; in no way do I have enough time to make a whole, fully fledged religion, that doesn't suck [kind of a key point], all on my lonesome. Plus, if capitalism has taught us anything, it's that the division of labour makes everything work better.

So here's the skinny; I need contributors to help me form up the whole shebang. It doesn't really matter what it is, as long as it's appropriate and at least a little awesome. Firstly, theres a few rules I want to set forth:

1. It is polytheistic
2. The role of the two most powerful gods plus the [sort of] devil are already taken
3. There can't be some in all and end all explanation. We don't rea lly comprehend the gods.
4. There is to be no human involvement. Humans are entirely seperated from all gods and divine beings, they are in what will be treated as different universes.

Aside from these, go nuts. Make up something, anything, and send it on. A tiny snipet like "there should be a love goddess" will get you a slap in the face next time I see you, because that's not an idea, that's a piece of crap. Something resembling a profile of that god/goddess and at least an outline for any story about them is needed. Hell, if you can comee up with something finished and perfect, more power to you.

If you do get selected, I'll probably work with you to process and improve the stuff into a final product. Depending on how important your deity is going to be, I might want a lot on them, so be prepared for some work. But you will be rewarded witht he title of prophet for that deity, and a permanent place of respect within the faith.

Send them to me however you like. [infinitecontainer@gmail.com] is probably the best bet.

Shitface

You know what sucks about having friends?? When they don't do what they're supposed to. I mean, I can understand when it's some awkward situtation or they don't know what's really appropriate for them to do, that shit happens to me all the fucking time. But when I specificly tell them that I want/need them to do something, then they don't, and their excuse is "I did once, but then I didn't" [Kelsky] is hardly forgivable.

And on the topic of Kelsky; what a retard. I was eating with him in food court in the city today, and he said something along the lines of: "I keep thinking that I saw people I think I know, but then when I check to see if its who I think they are, it's not who I thought it was", except it was twice as long with three times as many instances of a variation of the word thought and it basically made my brain spontaneously implode.

Plus basically the first thing he bought when we got to the city was a giant [potential spoiler deleted]. Seriously, he walked around the whoe time with a giant [potential spoiler deleted]. Plus he kept taking us to [secondary potential spoiler deleted] shops. Coz we SO didn't look gay to anyone.

And he pressured me into buying a book I could hardly afford. Although it is amazingly awesome. Does that count as a positive?? If the book was bad it wouldn't. And I suppose I did manage to coin a new term today: testicle-pop. [As in; "That's testicles-poppingly awesome."]

Ah to hell with it, I'm going to go watch TV.

China's Belive It Or Not

Today at video ezy I hired a movie called Three Kingdoms: Resurrection of the Dragon. I doubt that you've heard of it. It's from China. And I'm can't believe that I'm saying this, but those commy scumbags actually made a semi-decent movie. WITH OUT JACKIE CHAN IN IT!!!

Even more surprising was the previews for movies that come up before the menu. Of the two, one seemed a little dull, but the other, called Red Cliff, actually made me brain-gasm harder than I did when I saw the ad for 300. Yes, that is exactly how it happened. I was shocked too. The movie did look amazingly awesome though. And it's from John Woo, so it'll probably deliver.

It's only recently that I even knew China made real movies [though in hindsight, the loss of Jackie Chan probably meant they had to]. And not just them. About two weeks ago I learnt that fucking Iran is making films. The rest [well, not the rest, but some of them] of the middle east too. And I've been told that some of them are pretty good. I of course haven't seen any [just... no].

And I'm sure everyone has at least heard of Bollywood, which doesn't too bad for itself, at least in India. Plus, don't forget all of those movies that com from Japan [although it's probably a good idea to keep all that tentacle rape stuff repressed. Unless you're into it].

Add all of this together, and what does it mean?? That no matter what place you're at or what culture you're from, everyone likes movies because they're awesome.

You're Not Turning Japanese / I'm A Horrible Person

Up until fairly recently, I have known fairly few people of racial minorities. Chalk it up to my area, my schools being racist, whatever, but I haven't known many. Most of those I have known have been asian, and most of them again have been Phillipino, but what I'm about to say applies to all asian peoples western [yee-haw!] countries, though only a minority of them. I'm saying that because I'm not being racist here.

Isn't it just hilarious when asian people who aren't japanese pretend and act like they are?? When they think that they're ninja?? Just coz they're asian. Well you're not.

I have a friend who is Phillipino and think's he's japanese. Well YOU'RE NOT ASIA BOY!!! [Even if you are ninja.]

On the subject of Asia Boy, I call him that because he's the token minority of our little group. And since that's all I ever call him and I'm a terrible friend, at one point about two weeks ago, I actually forgot his name. One of my best friends, and I just flat out forgot what his fucking name is. Probably because the Asian thing is all that's important. [Okay that was a little racist, but he loves it. In the anus.]

God I'm a horrible person.

I Am Starting My Own Religion

I am awesome. It's just a fact. There's not enough space on the internet to define just how awesome I am, so that's not what I'm going to do [as much as I may like to]. What I am letting you know is that I plan on starting my own religion. [You probably caught that from the title. If you did not, you're a fucking retard and I hope you catch chlamydia.]

Yes, you will all one day be able to have the pleasure of worshipping a religion founded by me [unless I don't like you; then you can fuck right the hell off]. No, I'm not making myself god [yet], I'm not that full of myself [I am]. And it is going to be awesome. Taking a leaf from one of the many, many, many books by L. Ron Hubbard, I'm just going to make up awesome crap like you wouldn't believe.

There's going to exactly 52 gods [that'll also be our holy number], they'll all have complex personalities and behaviours and preferences and their own way of being worshipped. I'm going to come up with awesome stories for all of them. There will be evil ones and good ones and ones that are just nuts. There will be a ruling council sort of thing, and lesser divine beings made by the gods.

It's going to be sweet.

The Revelations Of No One In Particular

You know what's batshit insane?? One of my friends [if you are one, you know who I'm talking about]. And he just now at the time of writing is wrapping up a particularly brutal piece of insanity which I shall henceforth dub the Revelations Of No One In Particular. What is it? Him statusing a very brief bio of basically everyone he knows and a few other things.

The reason that it's called the Revelations Of No One In Particular is because he can hardly be granted the sole knowledge of any of these prior to now. Essentially everyone knew them, many of them were often spoken aloud, all of them are true.

Why is he doing this?? Personally, I think that's more important than the content [and if you really have to know, he says he just doesn't care anymore, which I respect]. If I did something like this [which I often do, though on a smaller scale] it would be because the people I'm criticizing need to be criticised and those who I'm praising need to be praised. How else would people learn to be less crappy or know they were being awesome?? Of course, not all fit into this dichotomy, but still.

But the effects of this are unfortunately doomed to be minuscule. The people he is expressing as awesome will be flattered for a day, then go back to either being awesome knowingly or being punished by the world for being awesome, just as they were before. Those he is criticising [who are all people who hate him, because he's impartial] are about as likely to take it to heart as Japan is to NOT get attacked by godzilla this week and everyone cope by raping the same dog in succession [re: this is really fucking likely]. And not just because it's them [for either capacity].

This all just works like that. Nothing is going to change very much. But isn't that little effect worth the trouble?? Isn't letting those awesome people know they're awesome worth it?? Isn't the off chance that people will better themselves worth the effort??

Depends what's on TV, I suppose.

Zombie-philia

I love zombies. They are one of the most awesome things that have ever been conceived. I can envision a chainsaw ripping one to pieces right now [yummy]. And I am definately NOT the only person who feel s that way. Most every one I know and the thousands of people who make zombie movies and games possible also love zombies. But let's have a little look at why that might be.

So why would people be in love of the idea of zombies?? Firstly; fear. People love having that rush of sheer terror run through them in these sorts of horror situtations. But that can't be the only reason. There are plenty of horror genres out there, many of which far more realistic than zombies. So there has to be more.

Next comes something I have touched upon already. Violence. I am in no way convinced that there is a single human being who doesn't have the drive to destroy and slaughter; it's just how we are. And a horde of mindless, bloodthirsty zombies gives everyone free reign to main as we please. We like that. [Or at the very least, I LOVE it.]

But something I think most people don't realise about their love for zombies is how they like the idea of simplicity. Imagine it; a zombie apocalypse, you and a few other survivors trying to....survive. All that would matter is getting food, fighting of zombies, getting food, fighting of zombies. Of course it would certainly not be so easy or good [in fact I imagine it would be terrible], but a lot of people want their lives to be less complicated.

There's not really a lot to say to that either. Who doesn't want a more stright forward life??

Why Would You Be Like That??

As I've said before, no one should ever like or dislike a band for any reason other than their music, and if you don't like them you have to respect that others do. For instance, given the opportunity, I would have every single rapper EVER brutally executed via castration with rusty objects and subsequent crucifixion [those romans knew how to get shit done!], but I'm willing to accept that other [retarded] people like them.

Now when I say that, I mean it. And I am SO GOD DAMNED SICK of people who go on and on about the bands they like going MAINSTREAM and how they liked them "before they were famous" and how I "only like them coz they're on the radio". WELL OF COURSE I ONLY LIKE THEM COZ THEY'RE ON THE RADIO!!! How else would I have ever heard of them you fucking retard??!!

And those people who stop liking a band because they're famous. Seriously?! How could you no longer like a bands music just because other people do?? Are you really that shallow and vapid?? Do you really need a band to be obscure and unknown in order to like them?? Do you have to be able to go on about how you're more "deep" and "musically knowledgable" or some other fucked-up bull shit in order to ENJOY MUSIC???!!!!!!

If you ever truly liked this band or its musicians, you should be fucking stoked that everyone else is getting in on how amazing they are. Or how beautiful they're music is. If you feel otherwise then YOU ARE A BAD PERSON. If they're musical style has changed or you've just gotten sick of them, that is acceptable, but deep down, you will always know if that really is the case, and if it's not, then you will always know just how despicable you are. [Entirely.]

There is no but and there are no exceptions. A BAD PERSON.

Children Need Decent Names

I want to have children some day. Not for a good while, certainly, but that is definately one of my goals in life. As I have said before, I have many complex beliefs about rasing children. This is about none of those.

I hate shitty names. There are many shitty names, and many of them fall into categories. Here are four of them;

1. Named after a Flower. Seriously, what decent, respectful person names their child after a shitty flower?? Rose, Lily, etc. are all terrible, terrible names.
2. Named after a Day/Month. Probably committed by the same parent/retard who would commit the above. Can you not imagine how stupid and pointless and potentially confusing this could be?? eg. "My name is August and I was born in July."
3. Named after a City. The only instance I know of this is Paris. It no longer means beautiful. Today, it means spoilt, slutty whore. And for boys it means "Beat the shit out of me right now." Who would do this to their child??
4. Named after a Country. Again, thankfully rare; in fact I've only heard of it once. I know a guy named Israel. Nice guy, but a fucking horrible name. It's a country, NOT A PERSON.

"But what's wrong with giving my child one of these names??" A retarded parent may ask this. Firstly, whatever you may think about innocence, children are cruel, heartless little bastards. They will torture your child for having a crap name. And adults are no better. Your child will suffer for their whole life.

Also, why give them a sucky name when you could give them one that's, you know, not sucky?? My children's names?? Well I don't have any, but I am rather fond of Conner and Chloe. I do have a plan for my first son though; Tadakatsu [as in Tadakatsu Honda].

Fuck You Guy

I enjoy made-for-adult cartoons. [Not hentai; regular cartoons you sick-minded weirdoes.] There a hierarchy of liking, and reasons for it, but that's not what I'm getting at. Today [or tonight, depends on when you're reading I suppose], I want to talk about Family Guy. Or one particular aspect of it.

Firstly, I DO like Family Guy. By no means is it my favourite show, but if it's on I'll watch it, and often laugh. But the thing which infuriates me about Family Guy is the way it rips on other, and very much better, shows. I have seen it rip on Two And A Half Men, The Big Bang Theory, House and it probably has many others. The problem with this is that they are all much better shows than Family Guy.

They are all have much better acting. They all have much more inricate emotions that bring you in and relate you to the characters [more so in House, but the others too]. They are all better written. They are all funnier, and their jokes are all more or less relevant to either the characters, the theme of the show or the plot. Not random, pointless and interchangeable jokes unrelated to anything.

And I'm not criticising that writing style; as I said before, it can be pretty hilarious sometimes. But that in no way gives Family Guy the right to rip on any other show, especially if they are actually better than it. The only person who would like Family Guy more than any of the three shows above is someone who frankly should not procreate, for the betterment of the species.

So Family Guy staff [assuming you all read my blog and take it seriously], stick to what you're good at, and leave your superiors alone.

We Care About The Music, And Nothing Else

A lot of crap goes around accusing Lady Gaga of being a man/hermaphrodite/Illuminati [seriously], and I feel like I should air my views on this topic. Firstly, there is no evidence to any of these, although I admit I haven't heard her explicitly deny any of them [despite confessing to being gay]. Secondly, if any one or more of these is true, who gives a fuck??

Seriously, in what way does anyone care if she's a crossdresser or a hermaphrodite. Do you listen to any musician purely because of their gender/sexuality?? [If yes, you do not deserve life.] I like Lady Gaga's music because I like her music. She could be a fuckind alien from Alpha Centauri who came as an asylum seeker from some great space war and it would have no effect on my opinion of her music whatsoever [although I'd definately want to hear about space war].

Similarly, I don't think that Michael Jackson was a paedophile, but I'm willing to accept that he may have been, and at the very least certainly did seem like one at times. No matter who you are or what you felt about MJ, you have to concede that there was something not right in his head, whatever it was. And despite that, I did not care at all. Why?? Because he made good music, that's why. In all honesty, how many people ever gave a crap about his obvious weirdness?? He made good music, that's all we cared about.

I have never met Lady Gaga, and somehow I doubt I ever will, and I reckon most [re: all] of the people who say shes a man/hermaphrodite have either. So how do they know?? They don't. And why do they care?? Because they're retards.

South Korea May Be The Best Country On Earth

There are many different jobs which I would enjoy having; God of the Universe taking first place. But a bit lower down that ladder [and the first realistic one] is proffessional gamer. Haven't heard of those?? That's because they don't really exist in most english speaking and 'western' countries outside of game testers and reviewers.

But in one glorious, uptopian country their proffessional gamers are equivalent to rock stars, gathering fame and fortune with one sweep of their arm. And that's not just the pinnacle people. No, the lower echelons of proffessional gamers still get money and respect on the level of semi-successful musicians. It surely is a paradise.

And how do they make this money you may ask?? Well, because the people of South Korea are far more elightened than those of the west and value video gaming so highy [as all people should], many of them are willing to pay the same amount people here do for concerts to go see these things, and they are regularly televised. Add all that up with sponsors on par with near-top level European Football stars, and I think you get the picture. These people play video games to get rich AND make everyone happy.

In South Korea RTS [Real Time Strategy] games are, to the best of my knowledge, the most popular genre with Starcraft and Warcraft III tournaments laying claim to godlike numbers of fans. FPS [First Person Shooters] are also popular, and both also have tournamanets in Europe and North America. As far as I am aware, there are none in Australia.

And while I've been describing how awesome proffessional gaming is [and if you haven't picked that up your either stupid or hat video games, so I hate you] you may have wondered what game I would play proffessionally. Well, thats a little hard. I like FPSs, but I'm not very good at them. If I got to choose any, it would be Samurai Warriors 2 [which is the best game ever made], because I honest to god kick ass at it. But I don't think there's tournament for that, so in the RTS realm, I'd probably like Age Of Empire III, or if I had to settle, Warcraft III.

Why Are They Funny?? Just...Why??

One morning, many months ago, when I was just a little year 12, I had gotten to school early, and only one of my friends had also arrived. I'll keep her anonymous [let's call her Kenny]. We were sitting there, and I farted [something that I'm really not prone to]. I was willing to let the whole thing slide into distant memory, but what did Ken-I mean what did Anon. do?? Pissed herself laughing. I did not find it humourus. [Did I spell that right??]

She [Kenny] mentioned this again a week or two ago, asking me "remember how funny that was??" Well I do, and it was not. I just did not find any part of the situation humourus. And I do not get why you did, or why anyone would. I'm not one of those stupid people who is absolutely disgusted by them [you're breathing them in all the time, who cares??] but I just don't get why they're funny.

Is it because they're noisy?? That can't be it, coz apparently me yelling is only funny when my words are discernable. Coz it's a squilchy sort of noise?? Becuase it's made of gas escaping from the body?? Neither of them can be it, because apparently burping isn't awesome [which it totally is by the way].

So...Why?? I just don't get it. Wh-why?? Just...Why??

It's A Child, NOT A PET

I have some fairly complex opinions regarding children, and there's no way I [or anyone who is fit to raise a child] could adequately explain them in one post. There is one however which I can. Your child [and for the sake of argument everyone has a child while they are reading this] is exactly that. A child. A small, vulnerable human being who will one day grow up to be a proper [re: Able to harm others] human being, and the way you raise them will have perhaps be the biggest decider on what they are going to be like when they grow up.

As such, you need to be very careful in they way you raise them. Things like imitation are common [eg. you randomly beating a whole bunch of people up can make them violent], and the way you treat them, particularly at a younger age, have a profound influence on how they see themselves throughout their life. So when put a harness on your child and leash them up like a dog, YOU ARE BEING A FUCKING TERRIBLE PARENT. If you have ever done this, I hate you. If this has ever been done to you, my sympathies.

Seriously. You have them ON A LEASH. LIKE A DOG. What sort of message do you think this gives the child?? That they are no more important to you than a pet, that they need to be watched/tethered at all times and cannot be trusted [it doesn't matter if this is true, it's still bad for self esteem]. Not only that, YOU HAVE THEM ON A LEASH LIKE AN ANIMAL!!!! I can think of nothing more demeaning to a person than this that isn't actually illegal. How would you like it if I tied you to a rope and led you around all day doing pointless shit and either ignoring you or talking to you like you were completely retarded?? What's that, you wouldn't??

WELL NEITHER WOULD THEY IF THEY KNEW WHAT WAS HAPPENING. And there's a good freaking chance that they will despise you for it when they are older. And you deserve their hatred. In fact, you fucking deserve to die for this. I HOPE YOU DIE. And that your child is given to decent parent(s).

I'm Not Into That

Anyone who is reading this has probably read my previous blog confessing that I think about sex around 40% of the time. But I'd like to elaborate on this a little. In there, I include all of the many, many times when someone says something perfectly innocuous and I turn it hilariously sexual [and we all do that], the times when I judge other peoples attractiveness, and so on. The 40% isn't just me thinking of having sex for that whole time. I probably should have clarified that before, but oh well.

Also, even with such a [supposedly] high level level of sex related thoughts, in no way does that mean I want to have sex all of that time. Don't get me wrong, yay sex, but my life is far from centered around it. Were I in a steady relationship with someone hot who [for some reason] I was able to have sex with whenever I wanted, no matter what [without them pushing for it either], I really wouldn't do it that often. I just, like other things.

And on the topic of steady relationships, I prefer them. With the info from the previous paragraph, you can probably infer that a one-night-stand style situation is something I'm just not into. I get why people would like them, I get the attraction, but they're just not for me. I'm a relationship kind of guy.

No idea why I'm telling you all this. It's probably awkward. I'm going to stop now.

Hey Hey, It's WEDNESDAY!!!! FUCKERS!!!!!

There are plenty of shows on channel 9 which I enjoy watching, so it is with the utmost respect and deference that I say everyone involved in running that network is a complete retard. I have a very good reason for saying this, which I'll get to shortly.

First though, I'd like to say that I can forgive channel 9's other flaws. That crappy rip off of masterchef and A Current Affair are [unfortunately] unavoidable travesties. What I just can't forgive is the [I don't have an insult to put here, there just isn't a word] decision to put Hey Hey, It's Saturday at 7:30, after Two And a Half Men, on FUCKING WEDNESDAY NIGHT!!!!

Seriously, WTF??!! How could this decision possibly have gone through?! Did no one realise how retarded this is?? Seriously? In the boardroom where the schedule was being decided, did no one put their hand and say "Hey guys, doesn't this kind of not make sense??" Because IT. DOESN'T. MAKE. SENSE.

Who came up with this abortion of an idea?? I HOPE YOU DIE OF AIDS!!!!

Yes, retarded decisions have been made before by all of the networks [too angry to think of examples], but come on. I mean, really. What the hell?? I just can't get past this.

Seriously??!! NO ONE??!!